The · LiveJournal · of · SarBear

Hey! I just thought I would update since it's been a month, and say that I still love you guys, and I LOVE talking to you on AIM and I will ALWAYS love Helen. I've just been pretty busy lately, and I haven't been able to keep both a Xanga and an LJ. Once again, my xanga is http://www.xanga.com/sexysadie110. But for now, I have to post these pics of Helen and Alan Rickman in Antony & Cleopatra I just found when I was surfing the web. I haven't seen any of them!

I just love these pics. Feel free to IM me any time at Anniepotato1. :o)

Love and Helenness.

I'm so stressed out right now, and it's getting to the point where I'm getting homesick even though I'm not really homesick. I just long to be in a place where I don't have to do any work. I've had rehearsal for three fucking hours every day of this week, and every minute of rehearsal time I'm thinking about how I could be writing my final essays and getting them over with. I have such a hard time thinking about all the work I have to do when I am hopeless at even getting it started. I have to write 20 pages by the end of the semester, but I just want it to be summer. I want to fast forward time, but I want it to actually mean something.

Recently, I can't help but feel a little lonely. With rehearsal being during dinner, I haven't seen any of my best friends really at all this week. And I'm so stressed that I'm having a hard time being in a great mood around people, and every little thing that I don't ilke about people is getting on my nerves a hundred times more than usual, which is making me feel even worse.

My parents are coming this weekend, and I have no idea how I'll react. I'm so excited for them to come, but I'm also afraid that when they leave I will resort to a depression, which happens by default every time I leave them. I feel like I haven't seen them and that I haven't been home in FOREVER, even though I know it's only been a little more than a month. But in a way, that makes me happy, that I've learned to live without depending on the stupidness that is my home town.

I don't know why, but I feel like I really need a man right now to comfort me. Not even a boyfriend, although a boyfriend would be nice, but just a friend who's a man. This feels like a moment in my life when no girl could ever help me. Which is a pretty foreign feeling to me, I guess.

I am KNACKERED. [I've been waiting to say that.] This is definitely one of those moments in life where I just need to be sitting on my ass in PJs, watching Prime Suspect/Losing Chase/The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone/The Way We Were/Woman of the Year/Up Close & Personal, eating a giant chocolate bar, and downing vodka shots. Then preferably crying myself to sleep and dreaming beautiful dreams of how one day I am going to be Jane Tennison and/or Catwoman and/or Queen of the world.

Well, maybe not Queen of the world. We already know who that is.

Thanks to Tamahine for the lovely lovely meme. :o)

1. Where is your cell phone? in my purse
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/lover? no boyfriend...
3. Your hair? dishwater blonde, very long and straight or wavey depending on the day
4. Your mother? 5'2'' auburn shoulder-length hair, pretty, a little crazy but I love her anyway.
5. Your father? my dad is pretty much my hero.
6. Your favorite item? oh gosh, um... Fifi my stuffed animal
7. Your dream last night? I dreamt that I swam in a pool of erotic perfume with a bunch of other random adults, in Caligula fashion.
8. Your favorite drink? ginger peach tea
9. Your dream car? I LOVE the old Jeep cherokees, preferably a cute vintagey one with matching hubcab color to the car.
10. The room you are in? my dorm room
11. Your ex? I haven't had a boyfriend, just hookups.
12. Your fear? exit signs in the dark, death, going deaf or blind
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years? Acting in NY or LA
14. Who did you hang out with last night? some friends here at bryn mawr
15. What you're not? eager to write my final essays
19. The last thing you did? went to acting class
20. What are you wearing? a vintage dress, black leggings, and purple flats
21. Your favorite book? Anne Sexton collection
22. The last thing you ate? grilled chicken sandwich, veggies, and chocolate cake
24. Your mood? stressed
25. Your friends? wonderful
26. What are you thinking about right now? how I just stole my friend's old Vanity Fair to cut out a copy of Helen's Gap ad
27. Your car? The cutest little car ever. 1991 Volvo 240, fire engine red, with lots of political bumper stickers. I <3 my car.
28. What are you doing at the moment? this meme, and belting to babs
29. Your summer? working for Lisa Madigan, attorney general of Illinois, taking theater classes at Piven, and working at my mother's nursery school camp
30. Your relationship status? independent woman
31. What is on your tv? I don't watch much TV these days, unless it's Grey's Anatomy.
32. When is the last time you laughed? 15 minutes ago?
33. Last time you cried? umm.... weeks ago, I don't even remember. but the way the work load is going now, I may cry today...
34. School? Bryn Mawr <3 [is my life. now if only Helen would come visit us here, my life would be complete.]
35. Pastime? piano, singing, helen stuff, reading, writing, watching movies, shopping, biking, hiking, dancing, etc...

Last night I revisited two of my favorite movies of all time: Up the Sandbox and Woman of the Year. Have you guys ever seen any of them? Up the Sandbox truly is a step into my psyche, I just love it. It was so ahead of its time, and unfortunately, it was never recognized for its amazingness. And Woman of the Year... Tracy and Hepburn are a force to be reckoned with. They met on that set, and you can totally tell. Sparks FLY. So beautiful and so cute!!!

How much do you guys want Helen to reprise Katharine Hepburn's role in The Lion in Winter?? I would just DIE.

I was looking at Helen pics today, y'know, the usual, and a flood of Helen love just came over me. It seems like that happens to me every time I look at pics of her. So I'm going to do a picspam. Today's picspam is titled, "Sarah's favorite Helen pics from 2007."

*sigh* So beautiful.

Since this wonderful idea is going around, I thought I would do my box of Helenness. (Oh man, here we go... this is going to be hard...)

1.) The Cook, The Thief His Wife, and her Lover.

2.) A picture of Penny and Jane with linked arms in the art museum.

3.) A clip of the "Votes for Women" scene in Savage Messiah.

4.) The Entertainment Weekly article with Helen, Meryl, and Judi Dench.

5.) My four ticket stubs for each time I saw The Queen in theaters (within the timespan of 2 weeks)

6.) The picture of Helen from the 70's with her green boots on the phone.

7.) This article: http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,,1863109,00.html#article_continue

8.) Her Oscars acceptance speech!

9.) The clip of Jane spilling chocolate all over herself.

10.) My hoodie that says, "Don't call her m'am, she's not the bloody queen," and has a pic of her from Teeth n' Smiles.

Phew. That was freakin' hard!!!

<333 to all my Helen sisters.

I'm pretty stressed out with all my final essays, so I need this time to just chill and post beautiful Helenness. Let's see. Things that are going on in my life that aren't work-related:

*I was sick today. Not so much sick, as a woman, if you catch my drift... so much so that I couldn't get out of bed. Yes, ladies, this is what happens to me on one day of every year. And then I take loads of medication and everything is back to normal within a few hours. That's not to say those few hours aren't the equivalent of death.

*I went vintage shopping a few days ago and hit this jackpot at this store called Vagabond in Center City, Philly. I found some gorgeous stuff. A dress that looks like Helen's hot pink one in Hussy, a Katharine Hepburn yellow dress with a blue belt, one of those Calvin Klein 90's beach black dresses, a psychadelic re-sewn mini dress that I wear with my chunky pink belt (looks like something Helen would wear in O Lucky Man!), and a 70's boho crochet handbag. Oh clothes, how I love you so.

*I watched Caligula tonight for the first time. Wow. It is one hell of a movie. I found myself cringing A LOT. But Helen is just so beautiful in it. I know, Debs, you told me she only did it because she needed money, so I understand... sort of. And part of me wants to think it's a masterpiece, because it is oh-so-close to being one. But most of me was just grossed out. But not with Helen, of course. Never with Helen.

*I watched Losing Chase for the... 4th time? Today. And I had forgotten how much I really love it. It gets better every time. The ending made me cry today, and it never has before. Her last lines are so breathtaking. I really relate to Chase. I think we all do, even if we are not lesbians ourselves. One thing I love about Losing Chase is she is never labeled a lesbian. And it doesn't matter what her sexual orientation is; all that matters is that she feels unfulfilled. And you never truly know if Elizabeth feels the same way towards her, but that doesn't matter either. All that matters is they love each other. And the way that the island serves as a constant symbol of the stubborness/silence of insanity and lust... It's just such a beautiful and powerful movie. I love it.

Lastly, I would just like to shout out to my Helen sisters. I'm so grateful to have you guys here, to remind me that I am not crazy, and that I have reason to love Helen like I do. We must all meet some time and we'll have a great big Helen party and movie marathon. <333

AND NOWWWW... PICSPAM!!!!

Really, I apologize for not doing an LJ cut, I seriously don't know how. If someone really has a problem with me not having one, could you please comment and teach me how?? Haha, thank you.

First thing's first. I made two Caligula caps:

There has been a lot of kiss posting going on, especially when it comes to PS5, so I will join the fad...

I love this one. :o)

Ohmygosh, how cute is she??

I mean it when I say... there can NEVER be enough Helen!!!

I just found a CRAPLOAD of Helen pics I've never seen before. I'm practically having a holiday over here. The only problem is I'm balls tired right now, I've had a very long day. But I'm going to attempt to post SOME of them. And you can find the rest at my Photobucket: http://s155.photobucket.com/albums/s314/Anniepotato/

I hope I've found some that are new to my Helen sisters too! <3

So here's the start of them, there are a bajillion.

etc, etc, etc...

Just because I'm linking you to my photobucket does not mean there won't be further picspam. Because there will be. Oh, there will be. :o)

I was searching random Helen things on google, and I found this entry on a woman's blog:

"She's got everything she needs. She's an artist. She don't look back."

Those of us hitting our mid-thirties aren't exactly thrilled at the prospect of getting old. Where bulimia seems the only true solution to the contradiction of being an aim-to-please female (you want me to eat your product? Okay. You want me thin? Okay. Where's the bathroom?), plastic surgery becomes the last hope for dissatisfied women who watch as things droop, stretch, hang, sag. There's a word: sag. How is it, then, that Helen Mirren remains more beautiful than ever? Mirren, though in middle age, is (to quote a dear friend from Boston) built like a brick shithouse. Maybe it's her Jane Tennyson from Prime Suspect, but to me Mirren's a woman who doesn't flinch.

Most women shouldn't flinch. We're elbows deep in gross, starting with menstration. From there, it's broken heimens, poopy diapers, to swallow or not to swallow, that is the question. For me, it's never been about "how to say no and mean it." It's always been about not feeling guilty afterward. Mirren, to me, is a woman who doesn't look back when she walks away. Her no is not questioned. Her anger is not hysteria. Her gaze is direct. You're not going to get lies from her. Why bother lying when the truth is nothing to be ashamed of?

Who else would prance around bare-ass naked for all to see in a Peter Greenaway film? Cellulite and all? Sags and bags. She's out there. The woman's definitely out there.

So, when I think of the role models for women, when I think of who I want to be when I get old, when the future looks bleak and the models keep getting skinnier and younger and tighter and taller, I will take Mirren, straight up, no chaser: Beauty Personified. Truth is, I don't really know what Helen Mirren is like in real life. I don't even know if she has kids. All I know about her is that she's a substantial presence on the screen and she takes chances. That, and she once said Harrison Ford was a bad kisser.

When I was a child, my mother thought I was too sensitive, too afraid. And it's true. I have always been more afraid than not. She tried to toughen me up, she said. She'd always pushed me to do things that scared me. I never did get tougher. My general fearful perspective was challenged when my daughter was born. Not only did I endure pain so intense there is no comparison, but I now have to do things like get rid of rodents, stand up to growling dogs, watch out for predators. Unlike being Linda , being Helen Mirren this time means that I no longer have to worry if Jim Cameron chooses Suzi Amos over me. That stoic, arrogant, indifferent expression of hers says it all. If I can be Helen, if I can wear my aging body like a good suit, if I can be tough enough, I can get through this obstacle course without turning to booze and drugs. I can say no and mean it. I can walk around naked without a running commentary. This time, I'm getting old.

I mean like, YOU GO GIRL!! I totally concur about everything in that blog. I definitely feel that Helen is Beauty Personified, and her candidness about her body and her sexuality gives me inspiration to be confident with myself and my imperfections. In my life, I've had a history of eating disorders. I've had some pretty painful celebrity phases. I've gone through two Michelle Pfeiffer phases, which consisted of me jogging for an hour every day and only eating vegetables. I've been obsessed with many actresses who have had to stay ridiculously thin because of pressure in Hollywood. Hell, I even have a Live Journal account from 6 months ago, where I posted all these pics of Ellen Pompeo, who is 5'7'' and barely 100 pounds, and labeled her my "thinspiration." That was just at the beginning of this year. All of my celebrity phases before Helen have had the tiniest hips, and I always felt that I wasn't fulfilling my own potential or something crazy like that just because I am a size 6. But Helen, my god, she has amazing hips, and they're a size 6 too! And she flaunts them. And not in the way where she's arrogant about it, or in the way that you can tell she doesn't have any insecurities, because of course she does! She's only human! But she puts herself out there, in all her imperfect glory, for ALL to see! To me, she is the most fascinating and beautiful woman on the screen, and my goal is to be as fascinating and beautiful as her in my career as an actress and just in life. I owe Helen so much with all the things she has inspired me to do/think/believe/be. That's why I know she will always be such an important part of who I am.

So I think I owe her a picspam:

First thing's first. My Helen wall:

For a gajillion more Helennesses, go to my photobucket: http://s155.photobucket.com/albums/s314/Anniepotato/

I just thought I would quickly share this with all you Helen chickies out there. I had my moment of Helenness this Saturday night. Some friends and I got a little intoxicated, and I had them take a picture of me in my "Shadowboxer pose." Ok, so I'm not holding onto a pole, but I still pretended that the little plank was Cuba Gooding Jr. (if only it were...) Now, I trust you all know what pose this is. It is HOTTTT. Not so much when I do it, but when Helen does it it is BREATHTAKING. So this goes out to all you Helen girls, who know exactly what moment of Shadowboxer I was thinking of when I struck this pose:

Helen love to all.

<3 Sarah

TELL ME ABOUT YOU
1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. What makes you happy:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my LJ?:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:
14. Do farts make you laugh:
RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your LJ so i can tell you what i think of you:
4. Post a picture of yourself:

Ohmygosh, my favorite Helenness discovered this week. Some amazing ones:

And now for a section I like to call, "Sarah sees herself in pictures, and is reminded of a picture of Helen." ;o)

Me in my Team Mirren Oscar Night crown. As you can see, I was pretty plastered.

Ok, you can't see it, but we're in front of a tree. Again, pretty pastered.

These pics don't remind me of each other, but don't our purses look alike?

My Calendar Girls <3

And lastly, the closest I have ever come to taking an actual picture with Helen. I have "Team Mirren" written all over my face:

I have lots more pics of me at my Photobucket: http://s155.photobucket.com/albums/s314/Anniepotato/ AND at my Facebook!! If you guys have facebook, friend me please!!!

It's finally spring out!! Yay!! In celebration of my first jog outside since god knows when, I will do my first Helen picspam!! I thought I would post some of my absolute favorite pics of her to start, and then I would make a cut to the caps I just made of Cause Celebre. <3

And now, for Sarah's favorite Helenness (well, some of it anyway, all of them are my favorite!):

And now, for Cause Celebre!!!

That's all for now! Yay for Helenness!

<3, Sarah

Oh! P.S., I thought you all should know where AnniePotato comes from. It's my doggie's name, Annie, and we call her Annie Potato because she looks like a potato. See? Look:

What a potato cutie!! She's my schmoopie pie.

Oh! P.P.S. Does anybody have a Helen mood theme they'd be willing to share with me??

P.P.P.S. I have no idea how to do an L.J. cut. I've tried everything, haha, so I apologize for the way overload of pics, until I figure out how to do it.

Well, I've decided that because I've made a lot of Live Journal friends online because of Helen, I would start my own Live Journal dedicated to things I love about Helen, Helen images, and Helen wallpapers and things of the sort. I also might dedicate it a little bit to myself, but most of that is for my xanga, which I've had for almost 3 years now: http://www.xanga.com/sexysadie110.

I guess I'll start with some basics about myself:

Name: Sarah
Age: 19
Occupation: Student at Bryn Mawr College, Pennsylvania
Interests: politics, feminism, cookies, running, screenplays, scores, vintage clothes, great britain, russia, acting, singing, piano, film, dogs, art projects, man candy, biking, nature, stuffed animals, poetry, and of course Dame Helen Mirren!
Favorite Music: aimee mann, ani difranco, barbra streisand, the beatles, ben folds, bill ricchini, billie holiday, bob dylan, the cardigans, crystal skulls, david bowie, the ditty bops, fiona apple, indigo girls, interpol, josh rouse, juanes, judy garland, justin timberlake, keane, lily allen, los enanitos verdes, marvin gaye, m.i.a., nelly furtado, r.e.m., radiohead, regina spektor, richie havens, sarah mclachlan, she wants revenge, the shins, sia, skye, sondre lerche, sufjan stevens, wilco, lauryn hill, queen, scores from the russia house, angels in america, the princes of tides, the queen, batman returns, and the lion in winter, brahms, schumann, the whitest boy alive, priscilla ahn, psapp...
Favorite TV Shows: grey's anatomy, the west wing, friends, family guy, colbert report, jon stewart, ali g, PRIME SUSPECT
Favorite Movies: notes on a scandal, the lion in winter, the russia house, the philadelphia story, frankie & johnny, contact, the accused, wayne's world, adam's rib, up the sandbox, the way we were, elizabeth I, the queen, the cook the thief his wife & her lover, shadowboxer the roman spring of mrs. stone, calendar girls, teaching mrs. tingle, white nights, carny, batman returns, anchorman, erin brokovich, losing chase, shadowlands, woman of the year, life with judy garland: me and my shadows, summer stock, for me and my gal, the fabulous baker boys, dangerous liaisons, svengali, officer and a gentleman, alice doesn't live here anymore, summertime, song of love, sylvia scarlett, the owl and the pussycat, what's up doc, the madness of king george, where angels fear to tread
Favorite Books: sexton, bukowski, blood meridian, great expectations, the beauty myth, phoenix rising, nickel and dimed, the hermaphrodite, bushworld, terror and liberalism, feminine mystique, me: stories of my life by katharine hepburn
Favorite quotes:

Sylvia Scarlett: You've got the mind of a pig.
Jimmy Monkley: It's a pig's world.

Lady lights a cigarette, puffs away, no regret
Takes a look around, no regrets, no regrets
Stretches out like branches of a poplar tree
She says, i'm free
Sings so soft as if she'll break, says
I can sing this song so blue
That you will cry in spite of you

"No, no, stop it, don't say it. I'm not mentioning, or even thinking of O-words at the moment, thank you very much. Except maybe orgasm." -Helen Mirren on her Oscar nomination

Albert: Georgie doesn't like babies do you, Georgie? Some days, Georgie, I think you behave like a bloke.
Mitchel: What days are those Albert? And what's it like?
-The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. - Thomas Carlyle

"Would it not be simpler
If the Government
Dissolved the people
And elected another?" Bertolt Brecht

"For God’s sake, don’t say yes until I’ve finished talking." Darryl Zanuck

These ideas are present in all sorts of unrelated cultures -- the Easter Islands, Celtic mythology, Plato's Symposium with its notion that we are all originally hermaphrodite. We became too arrogant and so the gods split us down the middle, forcing us to spend our lives chasing our other half. If we start being arrogant all over again, God will come down and split each half in half, and it will take four people to assemble a fifth, making our lives peculiarly, desperately difficult. - Peter Greenaway

"People always say, Oh, it's so terrible, there aren't enough roles for women, you know? And I've always said work on getting good roles for women in real life, and then the roles for women in drama will follow." - Helen Mirren

DCI Jane Tennison: So what do you think?
DI Frank Burkin: About what, sir?
DCI Jane Tennison: My voice suddenly got lower, has it? Maybe my knickers are too tight. Listen, I like to be called Governor or The Boss. I don't like Ma'am - I'm not the bloody Queen. So take your pick.
DI Frank Burkin: Yes Ma'am. - Prime Suspect

I have known many graduates of Bryn Mawr. They have all accepted the same bright challenge: something is lost that has not been found, something's at stake that has not been won, something is started that has not been finished, something is dimly felt that has not been fully realized. They carry the distinguishing mark - the mark that separates them from other educated and superior women: the incredible vigour, the subtlety of mind, the warmth of spirit, the aspiration, the fidelity to past and to present. As they grow in years, they grow in light. As their minds and hearts expand, their deeds become more formidable, their connections more significant, their husbands more startled and delighted. I once held a live hummingbird in my hand. I once married a Bryn Mawr girl. To a large extent they are twin experiences.
-E.B White

This entire article: http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,,1863109,00.html#article_continue

And many many more. I'll update later with a lot of photos! Including Helen picspam! yay!